DELCO

The formative years: Delco, as we locals call this place, but the reality is this place is located right outside Philadelphia, in Delaware County which consists of multiple cities. The term that we give our hometown can either have a negative or positive connotation but to me (and most) it truly is a lifestyle. As with any area on the map you have cities that are the good locations and others that are a “do-not-enter” zone, then you have the middle ground. The city I am from was not really considered Delco since it was a hippy college town. Although the location was in Delco we were viewed differently. I may have grown up here, but I never felt I belonged there. The crowd I ran with when I got into middle school were from all parts of Delco. They felt more like my tribe then those stuffy folks (I always though myself to be one of the others, just the same as everyone else). I did get along with most but for all the wrong reasons.

Growing up I was a rebellious kid, but my parents never really knew what I was up to accept when I got caught, various times, by the police. This was an era when baby boomers did not care about where their kids were. The results of peace, love and happiness shown through by raising feral children. It was the stereotypical; stayed outside all day, barely checked in with the parents, took unsupervised train rides into Philly at the age of 11, played in the woods, later partied in the woods, and came home by darkish. No questions ever asked. My childhood couldn’t have been better, had extended family all around with the heart being my Nana who lived a couple miles away. I was in every sport you could imagine, competed in piano recitals even went to summer camp for volleyball. My family looked great from the outside and maybe they were great, but I was not. I struggled with what I now know was depression and social anxiety disorder.  The boomers were not so keen on mental health awareness and issues. So, the only way I could cope with being in any social setting was to “change my mind up”. With anything I could get my hands on. I was involved in these activities that were leading me to my very first downward spiral.

I was 17 when I started making my plan to escape Delco. If I didn’t leave for college I would only continue to decline. After graduating high school, 2 weeks later, I move to Savannah to attend college for photography. I gained a great experience, but I failed out in the first year, had to come home, get a job and plan what my future was going to be. I had matured from my experience in college and knew I needed to find a career path. I though that computers where part of the future and the internet so I decided to take a certified course in web design. After graduating I landed my first “real” job as a desktop support person. Back then, in 2001 it was all about experience in the field and did not require a college degree. Leading up to 2005 I jumped around to a couple difference companies till I landed a job that moved me down to Florida. It was my chance! To reinvent myself and get away from all the toxicity in my current surroundings.

You see, the crowd I kept, was one that was not going down a good path in life and I was marching right along with them. I’m talking drugs, alcohol, risky behavior. Addiction was prevalent, friends were overdosing or getting locked up. I was at high risk for following their footsteps. So, I packed up Buddy, and high tailed it south. The only family I had there was my Aunt and I stayed with her till I got settled and could move out.

Florida became my happy place. I played Florida every chance I got. From the beach, to fishing, boating, sunsets, sandbars, shuttle/rocket launches and all doing this with my new best friend, Alex, who I happened to work with AND he lived in my neighborhood. This was my new life; I was proud of myself; I was never looking back. As years passed, I would get updates from my only friend the I left behind (still in touch today) on who had overdosed, who got arrested. There was so much bad news on these topics. I had made it out despite having to abandon my immediate family. It was either sacrificing them or myself, I chose me.

After losing the job I moved to Florida for my family, who often doubted me because of my past, told me I would be home in a couple months. Whelp, I proved them wrong, found another job working on the shuttle/rocket programs. I was settled. I was happy. I was living my best life in my 20s! This is how it was supposed to be. Leaving was the best decision I ever made. I would do it again if I had to. Self-preservation is #1.

A little backstory to better understand my youth and how I got to my happy place. A view of past struggles, I feel, can help set the stage for how my future panned out. I already started out not so great, fell on my face numerous times, but I survived; I thrived; I still held on to some past tendencies but not nearly as severe. Those tendencies still haunt me today. It’s as if I have been fighting an uphill battle since my youth but I did get a brief reprieve in my 20s. In my 40s I can see the “sane” light at then end of my proverbial, life changing events out of my control, tunnel.

Song inspo: Nappy Roots – Play Clothes