Stuck in My Head 2025

My plan was to have this site up and running for a “soft launch” before the end of 2024. I had a couple weeks off from work and I told myself that I will have the time to buckle down and get her published. I did not. I doubted the F out of myself, again. As much as I want to have this as a venue for myself and perhaps comfort/help others in the same predicaments; I am filled with “the fear”. Which is strange from me. I am a ballsy chick, NO FEAR, in fact I run towards this crap. But this is different, this is really showing me, which I don’t do, like ever, well, no one ever wants to listen; that’s a whole other story. I am exposing my own vulnerabilities, yet I see a future where this could be a great platform for myself. What I fear the most, the dirty little internet hamsters that can chop me down with negativity and judgement and fear I may not be able to be strong headed enough to rise above and look past all the negativities. There is another side where people will find out too much about me and use it against me, which has happened in the past. I’m sure we have all heard the saying, “never over share at work”, um, yeah… we shall see.

Another important fear, I do not want my friends/family to feel some type of way; they are players in my world which have helped to form who I am, they are a part of me and why I am me. I have a messy past, who doesn’t, and the use of technology to be a part of something bigger for women does inspire me. Hoping to inspire others going through it. My brain and my fear are assaulting one another. My heart is pushing me to continue and just do it! Maybe the Band-Aid approach is best. Get this site to a point of functionality and enough content to get readers engaged. Publish her, then market further on the interwebs. This feels right, don’t want to hold myself to dates, I need to get it completed to that point, yes; over here convincing myself. I’m my own worst enemy. And now as I keep typing I feel like I’m being a pussy and shouldn’t care about the negativity that can potentially come my way. OMG, this feels like a pity party… GET OVER MYSELF!!!! Can I chalk this up as a symptom of perimenopause? All the doubt, self-loathing and insecurities clouding a good faith judgement. GET OVER YOURSELF MEREDITH! So there, feelings!

Well, merry 2025! No resolutions, only channeling positivity and continuing through my journey of mental wellness. Sharing my stories and looking forward to hearing yours, maybe we can help one another through our fears.

No more pity parties, well, at least for today, my panties are put on the correct way; clean, pulled up, no panty lines and ready for action.

Song Inspo: Dirty Heads – Indigo