The Female Ecosystem

Previous post ran down a rabbit hole but that’s ok. I knew I would have random posts that correlated. Any who, the female ecosystem, come on ladies, we all know this environment well. One false move and she is tipped off her axis, and we find ourselves in trouble. We pay attention to her all the time to ensure health. But what about those issues that are out of our control? They come out of nowhere and we have no idea what is happening, all we know she is not right. Our miss is sad, or sick, lonely, depressed or losing touch of femaleness due to hormonal shifts. It’s nature, sometimes raw like a National Geographic article covering the rise and fall of lions in the savanna. Whatever her mood we must pay attention and get her straight. She controls so much of who we are, our moods, thoughts, attitudes, level of niceness, patience; shit, all the damn things we are. I did not know, nor did I expect, that she would fall apart and take me down with her. Bitch is brutal AF.

So, I have this friend, ahem, bestie, the only one I remain close with from my past. I shall call her Christina. And we were talking about the female ecosystem, our planetary overlord of magical baby making. Outside forces can inhabit these ecosystems; biological, living conditions, architecture, hormones, peeing in dirty rivers, swamp ass, DAMN! Using the wrong soap can have consequences that must be tended to otherwise not only is your miss sick you are too because she’s sad. What exactly is Vaginosis; I hear this term more as I age? Not sure I want to know; I don’t think I ever want to have it. We do understand that there is a strong connection between our physical and emotion well being. There are lifecycle's within the ecosystem from how we start out to where we are now. In my opinion they are as follow: we are born, we eat dirt, look at your uncle’s nudie magazines & SKINAMAX, hit puberty, grow an animalistic sexual appetite, the biological clock starts thumping in our empty uterus, motherhood and finally our bodies fail us and coping becomes an Olympic sport. What in the world is happening down there? There’s nothing we can do to stop it; nature trumps everything in our ecosystems. SEND HELP! I truly feel she is mourning her primal years; as am I. Orgasm’s become harder to achieve then you visit the GYN one day and the announcement is made that she is getting OLD; drying up, use lube, WTF! I picture spiderwebs in a cave with a tumble weed blowing through followed by a dust storm. Lawd please help me. I truly don’t know how to feel about this. I’m just as confused as she is. I digress… The lack of hormones talking.

Hormones! Oh, the symptoms? It’s more like you can have any type of aliment while the female chemistry slowly loses touch with once all she ever knew. Doctors love to say, “Oh! Chalk it up to perimenopause/menopause”. You have body aches, PMS, skin changes, body odor, hot/cold issues, hair loss, newly on-set depression; and I don’t want to forget the raging volcanic anger that surfaces without notice. There is also the permanent resting bitch face which only shows how unhappy you truly are. Think about the movie Labyrinth and the robot that protects the city. There’s an outside suit of armor but on the inside is this little angry goblin that controls the robot. Yeah, that’s me/us. We have no control over what our insides are doing, pulling all the levers to better control/navigate what we are trying to do.  On the outside, we are a hot evil mess. Don’t forget to sprinkle in some extreme sensitivity to just about anything and everything where tears and anger are synonymous.

So now what are with left with. The demise in all things we held as female and helped form who we are. Our bodies start to deteriorate, fine lines, our butts sag, boobs become pancakes, and we no longer feel as sexual and pretty as we once were. I embrace this change as I have no choice but to; either accept it as it comes or fight against time. I’m tired of the emotional roller coaster I have already been fighting. I want to move forward with acceptance however she keeps failing me in ways I never expected. Adding a hysterectomy on top of it only complicates my current issues. Maybe time to climb under a rock and hide out till it all passes, in like 10 years… Deep thoughts.

I’m also very curious what happens on the other side. You hear stories about how she fell off, closed up, grew legs and ran away. Other women are thriving and never been better. I wish I felt like that. So jealous. Then I hear some women never recover and fall into this evil, cavernous hole of despair. Which I can only assume is the depression of it all and lack of copping devices or support. The “old maid” comes to mind. Bitter. Mean, no friends and tends to alienate everyone around them. I feel for these women, I get how it can get to that point and I’m just getting started. I apologize ladies, we now have the pleasure of navigating the unfamiliar territory of preserving the ecosystem to the best of my ability and maintain our sanity. I wish us all the best of luck! Time to have a good cry…

Song inspo: Sara Bareilles – Love Song